February 2020: Loving Yourself in the Month of Love

Written by Anonymous (not verified) on February 10, 2020

February can be a scary, painful, uncomfortable time for so many – and, for so many reasons.  Many have experienced such painful and traumatic events in their lifetime that February, and any idea of love, sex, intimacy and relationship “stuff” can be triggering.  It may also be recent events – a breakup, a negative sexual experience, or maybe being early in recovery where relationships are still very fragile.  And yet, for others it could simply be the idea of being alone for the holiday.  But, as we know in February, the commercialism of love month surrounds us everywhere


Understanding Anxiety & Depression

Written by nwilcox on July 3, 2018

Depression and anxiety are common reactions to trauma. They can be responses to unresolved trauma, or they may be maladaptive ways of coping when pain and emotions flood the nervous system over time. The system maintains a constant state of emotional “OFF” as with depression or a constant state of emotional “ON” as with anxiety.


Are you a Fixer? Do you Caretake others?

Written by nwilcox on July 3, 2018

Obsession: The next “wounded” person or incident

Compulsion: help, fix, do, avoid, and fix pain


The need to “caretake” others can be triggered by many different things. When we discuss caretaking, people assume that it means we care for someone else when they are sick or elderly, such as an aging parent. However, when we refer to caretaking, we are referring to those people who put others needs ahead of their own, to the detriment of themselves.


What is Codependency?

Written by nwilcox on July 3, 2018

“Codependence is the pain in adulthood that comes from being wounded in childhood and leads to a high probability of relationship problems and addictive/compulsive behavior. It is a combination of immature thinking, feeling and behaving that generates an aversive relationship with the self (self-loathing), which the codependent individual acts out through self- destructive or unduly self-sacrificial behavior.”